Jeopardy!, Wheel of Fortune, and the Family Gilch

If you've ever had dinner at my house on a weeknight, you know what happens between 7 and 8 o'clock. NCIS is turned off for it's only hour of rest from Grandma Duck's kitchen television, and we flip to channel 7 for Jeopardy! (now available in HD for those who want to see Alex Trebek that much more clearly).

Where have you gone, Alex Trebek's mustache?

We've been doing this longer than I can remember, precisely because my family's been doing this for longer than I've been born. Something about the simplicity of these game shows, Jeopardy! and its counterpart Wheel of Fortune, is attractive to the masses. You get the questions right, you win some money; you solve the puzzle, you win the money. It's not as simple as all that of course, but it seems like something just about anyone can do on a good day. And so, their current incarnations have been on air for going on 27 years now.

Trebek 2.0: Now he's zany!

Alex and Pat and Vanna have become household names over the past decades, although the only one who's gotten any better is (unsurprisingly) the beautiful woman of the group. Trebek no longer has his trademark glasses and creepy Canadian mustache and recently, prodded by ABC no doubt, has been primping his distinguished 70 year-old white hair up and, to the dismay of viewers, talking more and more. I'm not sure if anyone has worse comic timing or a cornier wit than Trebek (thank God he at least has the answers in front of him). Sajak seems to be getting more orange with age, and I fear that Merv Griffin Enterprises may soon just slap a bleached blond wig onto a Valencia orange and we won't know the difference.

Pat Sajak, standing next to Pat Sajak in 10 years

However lacking the hosts have become in their duties, the shows still remain strong, a slew of devoted viewers who have defined the 7th hour after noon each weekday as a time to play games. It's a wonderful thing to do with the family, and who couldn't use a break after work and school?

Not to be conceited, but in my family, I generally answer the most questions (question the most answers?) correctly. Please don't take this to be a statement of self-service; it's a statement of my admittance of being a huge dork. Grandma rejoices in knowing the questions about cooking, Dad about literature and classic movies, Lucy about recent books, Gabe about the Three Stooges, and Amelia just the other day about Selena Gomez (not sure who that is, but she was adamant about it). Jeopardy! has never caused much consternation within the family as we can all partake, but the Wheel is where frustration tends to mount.

Everybody has something they're unnaturally good at. Many people have things that are eminently useful  to society and well-being. Some can thread a needle and cross a stitch in a blur, some can diagnose disease with uncanny accuracy, some can pick up foreign languages with ease, some can catch all the lucky breaks at the right times. I, on the other hand, can solve Wheel of Fortune puzzles with no letters in them.

Now, I've met other people who can do this. Once again, this isn't just trumpeting myself. In fact, I lament that this is my special superpower. Honestly, x-ray vision would have been much more useful. I normally treat the family with some courtesy when I know the answer at such an early point that it would take the fun out of the game for everyone else. I'll go pour some coffee or remove myself from the room somehow so I don't blurt out something. It's not for the sake of knowing it that soon, but just because you get the puzzles quickly, it doesn't mean you now don't take any less joy in solving the puzzle that any of the crazy people on TV jumping up and down do.

Of course, if Gabe's at the table, I'll look at him directly, sip my coffee, and use the puzzle's answer in a sentence to mock him. I've never seen him madder.

Pictured: Gabe after looking at him and saying "I guess you won't be SUCKING YOUR THUMB anytime soon." 

I've been trying to get on either show for years, though I've never gotten as far as the audition process. If these shows will let me pay for college then so be it, I'll shout out answers like crazy, screw spinning the wheel. I already owe these shows a debt though. As silly as it seems, they bring my family together nightly, to laugh and to mock, to smile and to yell, to get as emotional as we do during any Giants game, but to be together nonetheless.

P.S. Game show host poll up in the corner of the home page. Vote if you'd like, and if you're an "other" kind of person, comment here and explain who and why.